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DALLAS COWBOY FANS ARE THE WORST

Dallas Cowboy fans are the worst. I mean I hate Boston teams and the New England Patriots more, but for the most part Patriot and Red Sox fans are usually from the New England area. Unfortunately Cowboy fans are everywhere and they think the world revolves around them and their team.

I remember the brainwashing as a kid. First off both my NY Giants and Jets were really bad at the time. They were labeled “America’s Team” with their star on the helmet and field, colorfully nicknamed characters (Too Tall Jones, Hollywood Henderson and TD-Tony Dorsett) and of course the cheerleaders. They are all commonplace now, but for a time the Dallas Cowboys had organizational swag, backed up by frequent playoff appearances and Superbowl victories.

Those 1970s Cowboy teams were dominant and perennial favorites. They appeared in the playoffs nine times during the decade including two Superbowl wins. The 80’s were slightly down with five playoff teams. The 90s were a resurrection with teams lead by Hall of Famers’ Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin and Deion Sander, Charles Haley and Larry Allen leading the franchise to nine playoff appearances and three Superbowl victories during the decade. Prior to this year the first 15 years of the 2000s had been less kind to the franchise, with only 5 playoff appearances, the last being 2014 and before that 2009.

Cowboy fans had been relatively quiet for a decade. The always let you know they were there, but their arrogance had been muted to relative reliving of the glory days. Since it had been a while, prior to this year’s success, I had truly forgotten how very annoying Dallas Cowboy fans are.

Cowboy fans are narcissistic hypochondriacs. They are all Skip Bayless’ of the world, opinionated haters who crawl out the woodworks and inundate every conversation with some version of “how bout them Cowboys”. The problem is they are everywhere, and while some have been dormant for a while, they are back with some unlikely characters leading the way.

The two rookies, Dak Prescott at quarterback in place of their longstanding tragic hero, Tony Romo and Ezekiel Elliot at running back have given renewed hope to Cowboy fans that are looking for a present to help them relive the past glory they will not let any of us forget even though 1995 was the last Superbowl win.

The Tony Romo years had provided every excuse for Cowboy fans to explain their misfortune. From blaming some type of jinx caused by his dating Jessica Simpson to Romo’s numerous untimely injuries. It was another Romo injury prior to the season that placed Prescott at the helm of a team, with muted expectations largely because of the rookie’s unknown abilities. The team has had success 12-2 to date with the only to losses coming by a total of 6 points to the NY Giants.

Yet, everyday, Cowboy fans remind you why they are the worst. They claim everything is bigger in Texas, well they apparently go out of their way to prove that they are the most annoying sports fans. They are sore losers, and even worse winners. The paranoia concerning tradition, superstitions and curses exceed the normal sports hype. They dominate the news when they are good and we must all be held hostage to the soap opera that imbeds itself with enough cliffhangers to make who shot J.R. irrelevant when Romo versus Dak needs to be exhausted ad nauseam

Either way Cowboys fans will ensure that their storylines dominate the headlines. If they continue to win the celebrations and gloating will be intolerable. If they lose the whining and talk of curses and being jinxed will be intolerable. We cannot win with Cowboy fans. They are everywhere. There is no insolation from the Texas brand. They may not necessarily still be considered “America’s Team”, but when they are relevant, as they are unfortunately this year, they are essentially the Kardashians of pro sports. They are in your timeline or news no matter how hard you try and avoid them.

 

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