I’m officially done with so called hookups from family, friends and acquaintances aka the “homeboy hookups”. All of these so called hookups always end up costing me more in the end, both financially and with time and favors owed, and I rarely get the quality of the product or services that I need whenever I get “hooked up.”
Of course the irony is that growing up (in the hood) all we ever searched for was a hook up of some sort. We wanted our friends discounts at any retail store or restaurant they worked at. We offered cash as a way to somehow get a discount or at least save on paying the taxes. We offered everything except our bodies (or at least some of us didn’t) to bypass lines and get in free at the club and if you really grew up in the hood many of you knew how to buy deeply discounted appliances and electronics from known and dubious sources late at night.
That mindset followed me into adulthood. Even when my budget could afford to pay retail or market price my mind still always searched for the discounted hookup. Yet, as I got older I realized that these hookups were not once what they used to be.
I tip out more for favors from friends or barter legal services in which the value of my time and services far outweigh whatever savings I thought I was getting. Drinks from my bartender friends are never free because after I tip out, to show my appreciation, I end up paying nearly the equivalent of the tab as well as me still owing in some form.
Besides drinks, the services that I have been getting for hookups has been vastly inadequate compared to arm lengths transactions with people that did not feel as if they were doing me a favor. I know that I never ask for the discounted service, but when getting hooked up you are put in that awkward position of taking what you are given. You do not want to appear ungrateful, for the favor, but at the same time I cannot remember the last time I was happy with the level of service I got under these circumstances. Add to the fact that more often than not, I have to repay someone else to either redo or complete what was done unsatisfactorily and between the perceived favor owed, the money spent, the additional time and the additional money spent I am worse off than if I had just researched and paid for the service elsewhere.
While I am off the homeboy/girl hookup I am not off or against patronizing family, friends and acquaintances for business purposes. I want to help those I know first and foremost, I just want to be treated fairly in return. I won’t ask them for favors or discounts. It isn’t a true arms length transactions, but I will do the research as I would any other and come to agreements regarding pricing and services. They will be paid what I would pay anyone under the same conditions, but with the same standard expectations in return.
I can separate family, friends and business. Make sure they can as well. My experience is that favors lead to nothing but misunderstandings when it comes to goods and services. If you or they cannot make the distinction, then do not do business with your family and friends. It’s better to preserve the relationships then have each other spewing out differing narratives of how ungrateful the other is for either not appreciating the favor or taking advantage. It took a long time but I think I finally learned my lesson: the “homeboy hookups” come at way too high an actual price.
#homeboyhookups, #hookups, #friends, #discounts, #patronizingfriends, #family
