By Richard Ray:
No matter how hard I try, some Internet stories just leave me struggling to balance that my strong opinions do not in fact turn into judgment. Case in point, I have just read a story about a wife in the UK trying to reaffirm a message many of us have heard, but perhaps have taken for granted; never go to bed angry with a spouse or loved one.
Ashley Murrell and her husband Mike got into it on May 16th of this year, in part because of his continuous 16 hour shifts 7 days a week that was keeping him tired and away from his family. She claimed to banish him to the sofa and when she awoke he was dead. The 36 year old father of three (two 4 year old twins with his wife and her 14 year old daughter) apparently choked in his sleep, but the cause of his death has so far been ruled inconclusive.
Mike Murrell was laid to rest June 8th and Ashley claimed after his death to have learned that Mike was working so hard in part to surprise her with a trip to Prague in celebration of their upcoming anniversary on July 3rd. On its surface that story is heartbreaking and worthy of a Lifetime movie if not full on Sandra Bullock, Matthew McConaughey starring feature film.
Yet, why is it that I somehow hear Keith Sweat’s track “Something Just Ain’t Right” in the background.
Perhaps its just the natural cynic in me, but my antenna was up already and then it was revealed that Ashely, the widow of less than 2 months, was now dating her husband’s brother Chris.
She made the admission, though it hardly appears their romance is a secret, having been shared on Facebook. I have never had a loved one, that I was romantically involved with die… I do not know what is the proper or even normal period to mourn before moving on. I can understand a deceased’s sibling and a wife or husband being there to comfort each other, but less than two months, with her anniversary from her husband only days passed… I swear I am trying to refrain from everything in me on making a judgment on facts I am not privy to.
Even just an opinion is hard in this case, because we are dealing with a topic in death and grieving that is so personal and different to each individual in how it is handled, that my normally strong reactions and opinions are held in check because no one is ever qualified to tell someone else how they should react to death or grieve, no matter how unconventional their approach may appear.
That said, as an admitted avid watcher of ID channel, there is something about Ashley Murrell’s decision to share her story and her ease in finding love again so soon, that surely has every amateur sleuth yearning for more details. Well I have none at the moment. If, an only if, an investigation into the circumstances surrounding the cause of Mikey Murrell’s death is opened should there be any further questions. In the meantime, I wish the mother of 3 and her children well in this time of grief.
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