If you are getting that itch or feel that clock ticking being around babies will give you baby fever. They are like puppies so adorable and cute… if you are even on the fence, friends with new babies, seeing them at the mall or even television will only increase that desire to get one. Now if it’s your time, then by all means go forth and procreate, but if you are at all on the fence I have a suggestion on how to curb baby fever: spend some time with a teenager.
Teens lack the innocence and cuteness of babies. Most of my friends in truly unguarded moments will tell me their teen is a real a**. The moodiness and hormonal imbalances, that lead to selfishness and attempted disrespect make raising a teen a challenge for every parent.
All my friends truly love their kids, but interacting with teens on a daily level will give any parent a better insight and empathy with cannibalism. Yet, it’s too late for that so instead they endure a series of “I don’t knows” from kids who know everything. You thought you had definitive boundaries as a parent and person? No worries teens will test them. They smell weakness and any inconsistency will be exploited. You are instead strong and firm? No worries there, they will challenge the authority if for no other reason they feel it is their duty.
I paint a bleak picture of teenagers, and how can you not? We were all there once and if honest, we know what we see teens do doesn’t even touch the surface of their real actions. Are there good kids? Obviously there are, but the parents who live through rebellion free years of teen conduct are both extremely lucky and the exception rather than the rule.
Teen conduct/misconduct is judged on a curve. No teen pregnancy issues, add some points. No drug or alcohol issues, add some more. No dating the wrong boy or girl who is leading your previous angelic seed down a path of disrespect and destruction, they can get car as a reward.
I have recently been asked to take part in mentoring a teen. A good kid who just lacked direction, but the manipulative games and dramatics make it difficult to keep a straight face when attempting to apply consistency and discipline. I was way worse at their age, but that admission will only backfire.
Teens don’t really want to be your friends. They don’t see wise people who care for them and are just trying to impart the wisdom of their own life experiences as attempts to avoid some of life’s pitfalls. They see uncool, out of touch old people who don’t understand what it is like during the current times. No matter how vivid your teen experience may have been, teens only see someone old and out of touch. My friends want to choke their teens…give them back… send them to their other parents… and struggle so much because they love them so much… After all, their DNA, mannerisms and issues are you all over.
The frustration of having a younger version of yourself, be so oblivious to the imparted wisdom that they have offered right in front of them is disconcerting. The childless, experiencing baby fever need not just hold a baby but spend a few days and see the future beyond the cute puppy stage. It may not change your mind (and it really should not), but any kind of fever clouds your mind and judgment and I just feel that the teen experience should be added to help make such a big decision as bringing another person into the world.
#teens, #preteens, #babies, #babyfever, #parenting, #adolescents
