Tragedy is seemingly around every corner. I do not necessarily believe that these are the worst times historically speaking, but with the advent of the Internet and multiple 24 hour news channels and gun laws that make access to military style weaponry as easy as buying a new television (within the United States at least), there seems to be more news and awareness of tragic events around the world, from wars to terrorism to mass shootings. Somewhere around the globe, nearly daily, we are mourning losses in our humanity.
The idea to write this piece came prior to the recent mass shooting at the Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood Airport, and regardless of the timing my point remains the same; there are some people that seem to be addicted to tragedy…Let me attempt to clarify.
What I am saying is that there are people who seem to have a need to personalize and be affected by death and tragedy. I know what some of you are saying…”isn’t everyone supposed to be personally affected by death and tragedy?” Yes it should have some affect on you, but I am talking about a personalization beyond just sadness, sympathy and compassion for those most directly affected.
I am talking about those people that must interject and juxtapose themselves into and in some cases over others in tragic circumstances. I am talking about the people at funerals who make a habit of showing out with their grief. The ones always turned up making sure everyone knows how affected they are by the death. I am talking about the people who take newsworthy events, either globally or domestically and somehow transpose themselves into the tragedy’s narrative.
These are the people that let everyone know how overwhelmed and personally affected they were by the terrorist shootings in Paris cause it could have been them since they had once visited or planned to visit Paris in the near future. Paris is one of the most visited places on earth. Paris gets over 15 million international visitors a year. My math is imperfect, but that means that there could easily be roughly 500 million living people who have visited and feel some type of connection to Paris.
I love Paris. I happened to be there a week prior to the attacks. Yet, while like so many I felt a personal connection to the place, I would not let the recentness of my visit there somehow make me part of the tragedy that was real and affecting so many people directly. I was not a victim and did not personally know or have a close relationship with anyone in Paris affected by the shooting. My heart went out to those affected like everyone else, but even as friends who knew of my trip called, I could not let myself somehow be part of the narrative in a way that made my feelings and experiences somehow on par with those actually affected.
I write about empathy all the time. I think it is one of the greatest and most important human traits. We should all feel a sense of loss and sadness for those affected by tragedy. I am a New Yorker and though I was not in the city on 9/11 the connection to the city made it more real for New Yorkers’ even if they did not personally know someone killed or injured that day. It was an attack on the US but more specifically New York. I was there for the recent bombing in New York’s Chelsea, a mile away in the West Village. Yet, while my proximity and connection make the incident somehow more personal or relevant, I always try to make sure that my story never overshadows those truly affected by the death and injury as well as their immediate family and friends.
I am in and out of Ft. Lauderdale airport no less that 25-30 times a year. I was there the night before the shooting. So are literally millions of other people. Unfortunately so many of us share personal or proximate connections with tragic events that take place. It is understandable that the connection makes it more real. I am not implying that there is a right or wrong way to process grief or tragedy, but I am saying that some people are addicted to having a need to make the connection or association with death or tragedy much more significant to the actual realness of how they are personally affected.
Is there such thing as too much empathy? I do not think so. Just do not make it about you so personally when it really isn’t. We are all connected and should care about tragic events that affect humanity, just stop (always) making making your connection and pain the storyline over those that are most directly affected.
#parisattacks ,#9/11, #tragedy, #FLLshootings, #Ft.Lauderdale/Hollywoodairport shootings, #NYCbombings, #death, #empathy, #victims, #grieving
