You would think with a self proclaimed handle like “Diary Of A Mad Mind” April fools day would be my favorite manufactured holiday, but that has never really been the case. Call it the trauma from my youth, when my mother smacked me for a birthday card for a “play” cousin on April 1st. I was eight or nine, but even then my sarcasm was in full effect as I wrote, “Happy Birthday to a Fool on Fool’s day.” My creative writing skills still needed work, but even at that formative age, the drippings of my sardonic wit were clearly in place. Unfortunately my mother was much bigger on manners than creative output from her children, and I was immediately scolded for my rude sentiments.
So April Fools pranks have been pretty much off the table since then (My mom had a backhand Serena and Venus would envy). Yet, while I haven’t been a active participant in April Fools play, it hasn’t stopped my mind from wandering. So today I will share a sampling, both past and present, of April Fools day topics and headlines that I would have possibly written or participated in, if I did such things, starting with today’s headlines.
TRUMP SAYS SORRY: What would have been more appropriate than a fake news story, about the commander in the least apologizing for anything… I would of course have included alternative quotes from Kellyanne Conway and Sean Spicer to needlessly give people false hope that Trump had somehow developed a humbling, truthful, self-aware gene overnight.
UCONN WOMEN STAY UNBEATEN AND HEADS TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Just too cruel and unfortunately social media beat me to any possibility that a UCONN basketball fan had not already heard the news.
TRUMPS UROLOGOGIST ADMITS HE HAS INVOLUNTARY INCONTINENCE: A full fake news report just to see how far the internet conspiracy theorists would take it. Filled with quotes that his incontinence is triggered by long flights, cold water, and being in Russian Hotel rooms.
In the past, here are a few of the April Fools days jokes/pranks that have come to mind but were never played out:
When in relationships, the thought always occurred to bring home a friends child and claim him/her as my long lost (previous to the relationship) love child.
When I still lived by the inane credo of wanting a ride or die, I thought about having the police or actors dressed like detectives come to my house, with fake warrant and all… fake arrest me and question girlfriends to see how much they would sell me out.
Thought about having friends called by (fake) secret service agents to detail their names as part of either large counterfeiting conspiracies or identity theft rings.
Prank some of my older relatives that play the lottery with a fake winning ticket. This is less original, but no less cruel. Get the earlier days winning numbers and switch their tickets, making them think they hit the jackpot.
I could go on, and have others much worse and more detailed, but you get the point. Maybe my mother was right all those years to slap some sense in me and try and stop me and my twisted mind from being one of those that prank people on April Fools day or otherwise. For now they will remain as passing thoughts in a mind filled with warped and elaborate mischief. I will leave the pranks to others, well more qualified. The ideas will never go aware, I am just not one to execute ideas that test the boundaries of my family and friend’s sense of humor, specially in relation to mine.
#Aprilfoolsday, #prank, #madmind, #fakenews, #Trump, #DonaldTrump, #alternativefacts,
