By Richard Ray:
I recently read of a father in Virginia who’s video showed him punishing his kid by making him run a mile to school. The ten year old was suspended from using the bus because of bullying issues and the father chose to discipline him by making him run to school for a week. The video went viral and with that a myriad of comments. Most seemed to support the parenting method. He did not hit his child and many seemed to feel it was an appropriate form of discipline. The father never showed the kid’s face but did use his own name. He mentioned in the video that since the kid started running to school, teachers commented on his behavioral improvement, in part I’m guessing to the physical activity somehow helping with the ADHD the father said the child had.
Of course there were also detractors. Some felt that the father was somehow bullying the kid by posting the video. Others thought it was too harsh a punishment. A psychologist even chimed in that the father’s lesson was mis-directed because the bullying boy should be taught empathy instead and made to apologize to those that he affected. The psychologist may indeed have some valid points, but that still isn’t to say that the father’s disciplinary methods were not the appropriate ones for his child.
We are so overly politically correct and soft as a society. In no way do I support children being abused in any form, but let’s be real. Some bad ass kids need an occasional spanking. Even if you do not subscribe to hitting your kids on any level, that is fine but we need more disciplined and strict parents that are implementing something a little stronger than timeouts and a voice of displeasure.
Every child is different. Again, in no way am I suggesting that a parent should physically or mentally abuse a child. However, I am saying that some children need more strict and stringent forms of discipline and society needs to take a deep breath and not be so judgmental, especially without knowing all of the facts. The father in the video seemed to be quite pleased with himself and his parenting and disciplinary skills. I find that interesting because while he was patting himself on the back and offering his services to other parents, perhaps he should have been asking why his child was bullying in the first place.
That isn’t judgment, just a question and truly indicative of why we need to stop being so judgmental of parents as a society when they are involved in their kids lives. They may not be perfect and their methodology may be flawed, but clearly doing something to try and remedy a child’s behavioral issues is far better than a strong talking to particularly when that child is in no way being physically harmed. Mental abuse is tricker to call but no less unacceptable. We just need to understand that there is a lot of subjectivity in child-parent relationships and while there are probably clearly objective baselines that would signify mental abuse the more subjective areas need to be met with far less condemnation, objections and judgment. What may not work for your household may very well be what’s needed in another.
I grew up in a house where liberal corporate punishment was doled out on a semi-regular basis. My mother is only about 5’3″ but the Brownsville, Brooklyn native could whoop ass with the best of them. Now before I offend here any more than I usually do, let me just say that she was in no way abusive as a parent. If anything her three boys were probably deserving of more beatings than we actually got.
Times are indeed different. I realize her methods are completely unacceptable in the soft society we now live. Undisciplined kids curse their parents and threaten to call child services if they are touched or punished. I am only slightly exaggerating the state of child rearing today, but while I was never a fan of being on the receiving end of my mother’s discipline, there can be no denying its effectiveness in keeping her three boys on a relative straight path. We are the men we are today because of her tough love.
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#parents, #kids, #parentaldiscipline, #punishment, #abuse, #children, #bullying, #childabuse
