MY FAKE INTERVIEW INTERVIEW WITH KANYE

Kanye: I know I’m three hours late, but you should be honored by my lateness, that I would even show up to this fake shit.

Me: Why are you yelling? It’s only you and I in the room…I can hear you fine.

Kanye: You don’t understand…too many people are not recognizing my greatness…treating me like I’m regular. Niggas need to recognize.

Me: I’ll make a deal with you. If you talk lower I’ll make sure your words are emblazoned in bold, capped italics…to emphasis your passion.

Kanye: That’s dope! Most don’t understand my passion…my vision… People think I just spaz out for no reason, but when you have all this creativity inside motherfuckers don’t understand. I can express it in my music even in my designs but I cant always put it into words…It’s my genius.

Me: I see you are a big fan of positive affirmation…

Kanye: What do you mean?

Me: Volume.

Kanye: My bad.

Me: What I mean is you constantly make positive statements about who you are or who you believe you are. Like being the greatest rapper… being a great designer… being a genius.

Kanye: If I don’t believe it who will?

Me: Exactly!

Kanye: Plus its all true…I am the greatest rapper/producer probably ever… Jay is incredible, but I write/produce and rap… No one has ever done it like me…on my level.

Me: You might be right.

Kanye: Might?

Me: Volume.

Kanye: That’s exactly what I’m saying…might…you refusing to give me my due. Tell me who has ever done it on my level…write, produce and perform… No one … I mean tell me…you can’t…

Me: I can’t think of anyone specifically right now…

Kanye: Cause there is no one and that’s why I get so hyped… People failing to recognize. Whenever you hear of them doing top five or ten in rap you barely hear my named mentioned… What kind of shit is that. If I’m not on the list there is no legitimacy to the list. Fuck rap I’m on the top five across any musical category if you look at the combo of writer/producer/performer… but I get labeled an asshole so I get kept off the lists.

Me: Is it a fair label?

Kanye: (After nearly a minute of silence) Yes and no. I have my asshole moments when I spaz…but that’s passion and frustration with the BS. The music industry…the fashion industry they want to control and stifle your creativity… not put any money or marketing but then take all the credit and most of the profits.

Me: The indentured servant hood in the record business is still real no matter how digital its becoming.

Kanye: Music will eventually be free because of the internet…but then the internet still let’s you eat off other ways.

Me: Your wife and in-laws prove that to be a fact.

Kanye: They are the best to ever do it… Every person that makes a dime off of Instagram should be sending a royalty to my wife and her sisters.

Me: I see you’re not allergic to hyperbole.

Kanye: I’m only allergic to BS and people not understanding the different levels of my greatness.

Me: I’m not going to ask you about Taylor Swift or the resulting controversy that still seems to follow you around it.

Kanye: That shit really is old.

Me: Instead I’m going to ask you about something else that isn’t new but I think much more relevant to who you are. You have recently said that the fallout from Taylor Swift “was the beginning of the end of your life” I want to ask you about surviving the car accident that nearly took your life as well as the death of your mother.

Kanye: That’s old news as well. What are you asking?

Me: Yes, old but I’m sure they effect you still today and I’m asking, as I’m sure many people want to know how coping with such adversity helped shape you in to the person you are today?

Kayne: You know people have that expression I’m going to live like every day could be my last…well when I came out of a situation in which I really thought was my last…It made me work like crazy… I know that feeling for real and I had all these thoughts in my head, all this music…all these ideas of things I wanted to do…that I felt like were my destiny to do… It made me more focused than ever. Then when my mother passed… it made me initially question why I was doing all of this for. My best friend died. The only one who truly believed in my vision, even when she couldn’t see it. It made me question everything for a long time…I won’t say I gave up hope…but found myself asking “why” about everything. Eventually…I came out of it…but I didn’t really come out of it till I got with my wife and we had kids. That changed everything. I mean I still occasionally ask why and it’s clear I’m a work in progress…but now I know I have to get all of this creativity out of me, musically, design wise. My wife and kids have given me given my life new meaning and I go forward because that was why I was put on earth to do.

Me: you said you are a work in progress… How does your wife deal with your spazing out especially on social media?

Kanye: HaHa. We’ve had a few discussions where she has asked me not so much to chill, but to be more careful. I agree but the part that I can’t fully explain to her or even myself sometime…all the things we just talked about, my mother’s death…me escaping death…I just get overwhelmed with this sense of urgency. That urgency along with my passion sometime cause me to move too fast or react without fully thinking…It’s not an excuse just sorta an explanation.

Me: So you saying it’s not easy being Yeezy?

Kanye: It’s great being Yeezus!

Me: Volume.

Kanye: I have a great life. I am great at what I do. I break barriers everyday and have 2 beautiful healthy kids. I’m rich and not just nigga rich because I own my ideas and motherfuckers don’t own or control me.

Me: But what about the debt you mentioned you have accumulated?

Kanye: I believe in me. Even when others don’t and I am not afraid to invest in me… I don’t play the stock market I invest in me and I put it out there as a way to say to other investors that they may want to invest in me too. At the end of the day no one can take my talent away from me…my drive… so even if one thing doesn’t work it wont be what defines me.

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