Forget the Walking Dead zombies, vampires, werewolves and the undead everyone is so fascinated with, because the real apocalypse is upon us and I feel like it may already be too late to stop it.
Bitchassness is upon us people. Be afraid…be very afraid. If you are not worried, chances are you have already been infected. I don’t know exactly how it is developed or transferable. I do not know if it is genetics, airborne communicable, learned or sexually transmitted. I do not know what is the cause, but I can identify the symptoms as well as even possible cures.
For the uninitiated, you may be asking what is Bitchassness? While the name may be new to some, the epidemic itself is not. Sean “Diddy” Combs coined the phrase in or around 2009 during a “Making The Band” episode, but the affliction has been around for much longer. Now, unfortunately it appears to have reached epidemic proportions with no apparent end in sight. Forget World War Z, we need Brad Pitt to find an antidote to World War B.
So what is Bitchassness exactly? Unlike your zombies and undead, the symptoms are not easy to spot on the surface. No dilated pupils, foaming of the mouth or walking funny. The infected walk and live among us, unassumingly blending in, spreading this seemingly infectious disease to all they encounter. There is no exactness in defining or understanding Bitchassness, but I will supply some examples.
Pre-teens to geriatrics are susceptible to falling under its spell. There are no gender restrictions. Some of the symptoms are; unnecessary complaining and/or blaming, undermining others, false bravado (i.e. proclaiming you are a “Brand” when no one is checking for your ass), greed, selfishness, being overly emotional, extreme sensitiveness, brand newness, unwillingness to compliment/help/promote others without receiving a benefit in return, delusion, denial, prolonged/voluntary ignorance.
Those are just a sampling of the symptoms. If you have secretly acknowledged to having two or three of these symptoms then you have been infected. Remember denial is a trait as well, so those that usually suffer from Bitchassness are not usually able to honestly self diagnose their condition.
Head shots are the way the movies kill all the undead. For the living, guns are not permitted, though I fight against suggesting punches or slaps to the dome will not cure the afflicted. Instead, we must help these poor souls come to their senses. As it is they are taking over, indoctrinating our daily lives and culture with its acceptability. We must come together and fight.
The NO BITCHASSNESS campaign, that is spawned by alleviating sustained ignorance and delusion, must be reinstated. The disease is curable, but can only come from awareness to the problem and those not afflicted, helping to combat and cure those that are suffering and often unaware of their problem.
Bitchassness and ignorance is real people. It needs to be stopped, before it becomes the accepted norm… before its too late.
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#bitchassness, #diddy, #pdiddy, #delusion, ignorance, #puffy, #seancombs
