Merriam-Webster defines fear as: an unpleasant emotion caused by being aware of danger: a feeling of being afraid: a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful.
Yet, you did not need me to define fear for you. We all know what it is…At least we know what it is conceptually. People hate being afraid, yet many seek it out in a controlled environment. Horror movies and haunted houses are a multi-billion dollar industry.
It is things that we cannot see, anticipate and control that we fear the most. The concept of the walking dead scares us but we know along with Freddy and Jason they are not real.
Life is full of the unknown, and for many that is a scary prospect. Fear of death, injury, financial instability, rejection, loss of relationships are just a few of life’s pitfalls that people fear. I do not know how much of fear is innate, but I do know that it is at least a partially learned behavior.
I am a serial entrepreneur, and have been almost fearless in my pursuits. This has resulted in some questionable dealings to go with some successes. Overall, I am ahead of the game, and while I am presently engaged in a new venture, as I have gotten older my appetite for risk has definitely decreased.
That fearlessness did not always extend to every other facet of my life. Ever since fifth grade, when my teacher tried to play me out in front of the class, I have had an intense fear of embarrassment. A side of effect of that fear was a reticence regarding women. I have never been accused of being an extrovert in general, but know some of the reluctance talking to women as a kid came from an undiagnosed fear of rejection.
It is nearly laughable now. As a grown man I have learned many lessons and one of them is that “no” is just a word. It is an important word to know, understand and respect, but it is just a word. This is not just with regards to women but, with essentially anything in life.
Fear can be crippling if you allow it. Fear can stop you from taking chances. There is of course a delicate balance to much of life and fear fits into that category. Recklessness is bad and potentially dangerous. A degree of fear or caution is necessary to maintain safety, but fear is also prohibitive.
Fear of being alone or starting anew keeps way too many people in relationships for far too long. Fear of change also keeps that unhappy status quo and that extends to employment and career change.
Theoretically, everyone wants to be happy. Yet, fear often factors into the decisions people make as well as not make. There is no magical recipe in achieving happiness or success, but overcoming our fears is at the top of any list in being able to maximize our full potential as people.
As we get older, we, hopefully, begin to see that so many of the things that we feared in life have no real basis. We allow our minds to play terrible tricks on us and it is only when we are able to gain full control of thought and reason that we can see there are rarely people, situations or circumstances that should give us pause enough to avoid living our lives to the fullest.
For most of this we come to these conclusions naturally, with age and maturity. The key is to expedite the process and come to the realizations and overcome our myriad of fears at an early enough age to actually be able to substantively change the course of our lives for the better.
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