Excuse my less than sunny disposition, but I got into an altercation this morning and it left me feeling a little salty. It never actually got physical, but my encounter with the disrespectful muthaf**** first thing when I woke up was not fun.
He wasn’t just disrespectful with the things he was telling me, but what made it worse is that I heard everything he said, spoken with all CAPS and #hashtags. The encounter was just outright rude, and to make matters worse all of this took place in my home.
He just looked at me and went in: #Negroyoulookingold, #usedtobesexy, #youwasthemanhomey, #WTFhappenedtoyou, #Greybeard, #lookinglikefathertime, #youneedagutcheck, #noIreallymeanyouneedtocheckyourgut, #whendidyoustealLebron’shairline, #arethosebagsunderyoureyes, #orareyoujustreallyunhappytoseeme, #whotoldyoutohavea6footmirror.
I am not one to ever accept any form of disrespect, but I stood momentarily in silence. Finally I turned away. I was done. I never liked mirrors to begin with, but now it was truly personal. This wasn’t about looking at a reflection of my inner self… on that end I am good. I am still a work in progress as a man, constantly growing and evolving, but overall happy with who I am.
Instead this was an assault on the superficial. It was personal. Ever the pragmatic optimist, I will call it a wake up. I really spend very little time looking at myself in the mirror. I lack neither vanity nor confidence. I am just someone that has never liked taking pictures and has never spent much time looking at myself in mirrors.
This assessment was an acknowledgement of my recent complacency. I have not lacked self confidence since ninth grade, but at the same time it was not replaced with delusion. For many years despite not eating properly and getting very little sleep, I seemed to defy aging. Perhaps that is a an overstatement, but in many ways I looked younger in my thirties than I did when I was nineteen. Smiling a little more helped, but so did a fast metabolism and an active and athletic lifestyle.
Well fast forward to the present, and a slower metabolism and a few sports related injuries that curbed my activity for a time, needed a new assessment. It didn’t have to be so rude, but who am I kidding I have only ever liked my truth served with brutal honesty. So, its been said. I don’t intend to have this long conversation again anytime soon, but when I do that Muthaf***** better have good things to say… Cause I am not with much more of that crazy talk.
If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to read others within diaryofamadmind.com
#bodyimage, #maninthemirror, #truthfulness, #shape, #jokes, #selfesteem, #disrespect, #metabolism, #mirrors
