By Richard Ray:
For years, when challenged, I have argued the differences in my having strong opinions as distinctively distinguishable from being judgmental. Admittedly, I have some educational training in arguing semantics, but I acknowledge that the distinction is thin at best.
Merriam-Webster’s definitions highlight how similar the words are, but for me conceptually they still hold important differences.
Judgmental: tending to judge people too quickly and critically; characterized by a tendency to judge too harshly.
Judgment: the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.
Opinionated: unduly adhering to one’s own opinion or to perceived notions
Opinion: a belief, judgment or way of thinking about something: what someone thinks about a particular thing.
Those are Merriam-Webster’s simple definitions, here are my own distinctions. I am full of opinions. Prior to Diary Of A Mad Mind I was intensely private and with no social media presence at all, my vast opinions were primarily restricted to friends and close associates. Now, I have opened up my opinions to the world and while political correctness is often overrated, I am aware of the powerful effects that words can have.
My opinions are plentiful on a vast array of subjects. I do not toe any particular party or cultural lines. My opinions, no matter how strong, are also not usually set in stone. I constantly try to evolve as a man and that growth sometimes means a change of viewpoint. Opinions are a belief, but as your understanding or knowledge changes or increases on any matter, so should your beliefs or opinions.
The fundamental core of who I am as a man has not changed much since I was twelve years old. Yet, my knowledge has (hopefully) exponentially grown so on a subject by subject basis there have been more factors that contribute to shaping my opinions and beliefs.
It is that malleability of my mind in accepting new information and its ability to re-formulate opinions that is the reason I make sure to never be judgmental in offering or sharing thoughts.
I would like to think that I have always been progressive enough to make the distinctions, but the sad truth is I realize I was not. The epiphany came one day many years ago. Prior to them being nearly commonplace now, breast augmentation used to incite talk, opinions and judgment. It may still exist today, but it is clearly more common today within society then it was say twenty years ago. I was one of those with strong opinions about breast implants. I usually did not infer a judgment upon the woman as a person, but I was definitely filled with thoughts as to my dislike for them atheistically. I remember even saying something along the likes of “I do not understand why any woman would ever get them.”
Then one day I spoke to a woman who shared her story of receiving implants after reconstructive surgery related to breast cancer. Her story made me realize why I could never show judgment to anyone, because the reality is that you never really know anyone’s story. The conversation totally re-shaped my opinion of breast augmentation. Her experience caused me to rethink the shallowness of simply looking at the atheistic superficiality of the procedure and only take into consideration that women make the decision for so many reasons that as a man are simply none of my concern.
We all look from the outside and at times develop strong opinions. However, we must make sure that those opinions fall well short of passing judgment. Opinions are essentially generalities and the reality is that nearly every situation has a specific backstory and until you know everything about someone’s particular story, opinions need to be maintained judgment free.
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