Communication is the foundation of every relationship in your life. It does not matter if it is business, family or other personal relationships, if communication is poor the relationship stands little chance of truly flourishing.
I am sure most people would agree with me in theory, but if that is the case, why is communication so inefficient and poor for so many of us? My first guess is that most people have never truly learned how to listen.
We all claim to “hear” each other but how many are able to truly listen? I am talking about listening beyond the purposes of just forming a response or rebuttal, but total comprehension of what it is a person is trying to convey.
I was in a peer counseling group in high school. We actually received dozens of hours of training on listening and I became quite good at it. Years later into my adulthood, I realized that I was not half the listener I used to be. Years of having to get my point across left me out of practice. I recalled the years of training, dialed back my ego and made a concerted effort to once again become a good listener and thus a better communicator. The two explicably run hand in hand.
Listening is at the heart of better communication but just as, if not even more important is desire. By desire I am specifically referring to wanting more and better communication. It all sounds so simple, because to a large degree it is.
You have to understand the importance of communication for any relationship. Once you understand the importance then you have to make it a priority. It a both a learned and practiced exercise that involves both listening to one another, and then actual communication both verbally and non-verbally.
The listening is the key, because what comes from that will generally dictate our needed responses. Sometimes it is verbally communicating back…Sometimes it is just an acknowledgement of what is being said. Communication may be verbal or non-verbal and what is needed will not come from mind reading, but active listening to the needs from each situation.
Active listening is not easy. I am unsure if it is just human nature, but listening generally takes on the form of hearing what is needed to form a response or rebuttal, if we haven’t just tuned the person out completely. It takes a great deal of patience and desire to be an effective listener. Achieving both is the only way to ever really optimize effective communication.
I have focused this post on communication primarily on listening. Verbal and non-verbal communication are just as important and will be delved into further in a later piece. That foundation for communication must be built on developing and maintaining better listening skills. It is not always easy, but the rewards far outweigh the inconvenience caused by the effort.
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#listening, #communication, #verbalcommunication, #nonverbalcommunication, #growth, #relationships
