SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR

We all have character flaws…Lord knows I have had enough to be able to write a best selling “How Not To” book. It is one thing to acknowledge such flaws… Acknowledgement is the first step in admitting there is a problem and hopefully seeking help in “fixing” the issues. Yet, it is another, to even tacitly accept such flaws as an excuse, rationalization or justification for one’s behavior.

With human nature, and most specifically our ability to have choice, there comes a tendency for self-destructive behavior. I would argue we ALL have the trait. It may not necessarily be in our DNA, but it is within the fabric of all humans that live with free will. The most successful people are not devoid of the trait, but rather are people who have identified it within themselves and at least harnessed it to the point where it does not substantially affect their personal and professional lives.

The first and most important steps when it comes to character flaws and self-destructive behavior is identifying what those flaws and traits are. This is often easier said than done, since many of us may not initially be aware of what are our character flaws and self-destructive behavior. We live with ourselves and may simply accept our behavior as normal. Perhaps it is, but identifying flaws takes an ability to not just look at how we see ourselves, but also at how others see us.

That is always a difficult balancing act, because we should never give too much credence to what others think of us, but true self-awareness can only be achieved with a realization of how our actions and behaviors affect others. The next step of that type of self-awareness is then understanding not only how our actions may be affecting others but most importantly how they are affecting ourselves.

Once we have identified our character flaws we must be diligent in trying to fix them. It is not okay to simply say people must accept us for who we are, when those flaws are the cause and effect of self-destructive patterns of behavior. All too often people question “why” when looking at their status in life. More than often the why can be answered within the reflection in the mirror.

We are our own worst enemies… We need to be our own best friend or least our own champion benefactor. I recently wrote about the need to love oneself first as the first step in achieving a healthy and balanced life. The second step may be in making sure we are not the primary person and reason standing in the way of our own happiness and prosperity.

Look inward… Look at your life… is it pride or actions or “character flaws” that are the greatest impediment to your progress? It is not easy to admit that you are the biggest issue in your own life… it is so much easier to lay the blame on others. Yet, once you can make that difficult admission and taken the steps to no longer continue the self-destructive behavior, you are set to positively transform your life. Self-destructive traits may not go anywhere, but they can (and need) to be harnessed and controlled. Only then do we give ourselves the optimum chances to achieve the fulfillment that comes with the opportunities provided by balance and prosperity.

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