Time is a precious commodity. I could write an entire piece on time from clichés and expressions. Time is promised to know one. Life is short… The list goes on and on, they are all truisms to a certain degree. I am not even sure if I bring something totally new to the discussion related to time, but life simply provides constant and often not so gentle reminders of the value of time.
When you are a kid, nothing can take place fast enough. Childhood is a perpetual state of “can’t wait.” You can’t wait for trips, birthdays, Christmas mornings. You can’t wait to be big. You can’t wait to get older. You can’t wait to date… to be independent from your parents and all authority. You can’t wait to make money and live on your own… then you become an adult, and the concept of time takes on a whole different meaning and dimension.
The responsibilities with adulthood leave for additional challenges. Time that used to be an archenemy of our impatience, then cruelly flips the script. It’s still our archenemy, just for now an entirely different reason. Whereas once time seemed to stand still and took forever throughout our childhoods and even adolescents, as adults time goes by too fast and even becomes a scarcity towards our needs and wants.
Most adults suffer from feelings that there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything they need and/or want to do. These feelings aren’t reserved for the rich and perceived successful. The restrictions of time have no socio-economic, racial or cultural divides. They affect all of us. From the Wall Street executive balancing billion dollar spreadsheets to the moms juggling work and household responsibilities, time is sacred commodity and despite wishing and wants and resources, there is only so much of it in a day (1,440 minutes) and the reality is none of us are promised time, old age or anything else beyond the literal moments of our existence.
So why, knowing that time is such a vital commodity, do we waste it on matters that are unworthy of our time and energy? When I refer to waste, I am not talking about the day to day necessities that many of us are forced to engage in. Life, is filled with many situations and moments that we are forced to participate in. We may have jobs, we don’t like, and relationships that are not necessarily the healthiest. That is not a waste, that is life. By waste, I am referring specifically to the situations that we voluntarily take on that are undeserving of the limited time we are given on this earth.
The time we have with our family and friends is limited. Life gets in the way. Responsibilities get in the way. Real or perceived issues get in the way. The latter is what we can and need to control. I have written about the issues that sometimes exist amongst family and friends. My family is in the 99th percentile of dysfunction like so many of yours, and I would not trade them in for one second.
So how do I reconcile my love for family and friends with the fact that I don’t interact with many of them regularly: difficultly. I am far from perfect in any of my familiar relationships, but one thing I learned is that I cannot and will not be the one holding on to past issues and transgressions as a reason to not interact with those closest to me. I cannot come to agreements alone, all I can do is keep the proverbial door open to people in hopes that one day they will let go of the past issues no matter how real or perceived they may be.
Time is too precious…life too short to hold on to negativity. You can’t tell or make someone else get on your timeline. Sometimes all you can do is let them know where you are at, and assure them the door is always open to them when they are finally ready. We hold on to things, like issues with money or perceived slights or wrongs. They all may have been real and significant issues at one time, but there really should be a statute of limitation to our grudges and pettiness.
We cannot get back the time we have missed with our loved ones, but we can take stock of the limitation of the time moving forward, especially considering that our time (or their time) in not promised on any level. So wake up and make amends with those that we may be disconnected with. They may not be ready just because you say so, but a first step has to be made in opening the door to communication. Hopefully they will eventually understand the commodity of the limited resource and even if they do not, you have made the step to positively move forward.
#time, #commodity, #family, #grudges, #life, #lifeisshort
